A lot of time has passed by since my last post. For a while, I been just cruising by just doing pretty much nothing. It seems as if I just wasted a lot of valuable time when I could've really been studying or reading the Bible. It seems each and everyday, I think about my future more and more. Still going to a community college I feel so damn useless. I hate the fact I'm going to a stupid community college and I can't wait till I'm out. Only 1 year left till I can transfer and as of right now, I have UCR in mind. I'm most likely going to get in. I'm now more motivated than ever to actually study and not waste so much time. All this time, I been going to class because I had too and I didn't give a crap about anything. I got lucky, got couple of A's and a B, but then again, they were easy except for accounting. For a couple of days, I been thinking so much about my future and about what I want to do. For the last couple days, I been seriously thinking about studying harder and trying to get into a better school. I realized that I'm so prideful, and that I care about what others think about me. I care about what people see in me and I don't want to look like a dumbass that went to some stupid school. I want to become successful, I want parents to see me as some good kid that is smart and has a bright future ahead. I don't want to look dumb and act dumb. I'm just sick and tired of everything. I'm determined more than ever to try hard and do well in school. I wish I can start over because right now, I'm so damn pumped up to study hard. If I do transfer to UCR then I go, but I also want to stay a year longer and try to raise up my GPA higher and get into a better school. I know I can do it if I try. I know I can make it if I put effort in. I'm writing this blog right now to remind myself when that when I go back to reread this blog entry, I can be reminded of this strong motivation that I have at this moment to study hard. There is this one thing I really want to start right now and risk a lot for. I'm jotting down idea's and hopefully with lots of prayer, I can hopefully come up with a business plan within couple months to push through and start it. Oh and about prayer and about my Christian life. Yes, its been a while since I been going to church and I feel I've progressed a lot. I feel much closer to God and I feel my faith has grown. This blog entry might sound like I'm some crazy prideful guy that only cares about success but really, its how I grew up that makes me want to succeed so bad. I don't want to fail because I've seen what failure can do. I know the pain it brings and how much damage it has on a family. As I think about my future, I'm going to do all I can and do the best I can to make SURE I SUCCEED AND HAVE A GREAT CHRIST CENTERED FAMILY. I see how important it is to have a Christ centered family. This has reminded me of how much I need God in my life and how important God is. In everything I do in my life, I want to really do it for the glory of God. I want to live each and every day of my life glorifying God with all my heart. He has done so much for me and I'm so thankful for everything I have. As I was writing my business plan, I was reminded of how AMAZING God is and how blessed I am to be saved. Its really hard to overcome my flesh and in result, I fall into temptations. I know deep inside me, I want to live a good life, a righteous life apart from the world. This world is so evil and its so easy to fall and be just like the worldly people. This isn't what I want, I don't want to be a Christian who is not any different from a worldly person. I know who I am. I'm a Christian, I'm a guy trying to fight the world and be different from the world. I want to live my life pleasing God not the world. The world teaches us that success is the way to go and that living the American dream is what life's about. Yes I want to succeed but not so that I can be rich but to be able to help others in need. Life is tough and always will be and that's how my life pretty much was. One thing I can say is I'm so blessed and I'm so happy to know that because of my mom, I'm a Christian. If it wasn't for her, then I would've probably never gone to a church and never have been saved. I'm so blessed and thankful for that. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful mother. She is one of the reason's I want to succeed. I want to make her happy and bring a smile to her face everyday. I'm always reminded of my mom and how she wants me to always love God before ANYTHING. She's always constantly reminding me of how I need to be an example of a Christian in this world. She has taught me to trust in God with everything and that, everything will be ok. She's right, everything has been ok. Even through great hardships, I still have a home, a car, a family, food on the table, and I have my faith in God. What more can I ask right? I've grown to appreciate the things I have around me. Okay, back to success part. There's this one business idea I have in mind that I want to really push for. Yes I would love to make lots of money but not for myself but to help people. I've always wanted to start my own organization to help families in need and to help the community and the people around. Every time I see sad people, it hurts me so much. I get so depressed because life's unfair. I wish everyone can just be happy. I wish that everything would be ok but its not. I want to become successful to bring a smile to those sad people and to help them appreciate their life. I want to help many families later in life. It hurts me to see people struggle and I get a strong conviction to do something every time. I pray each and every night before bed that God may bring me success and great wisdom in my life. I would love to have success but not success to live a worldly life of partying and just having fun, but to live my life giving back to others. Acts 20:35(ESV) "In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, it is more blessed to give than to receive." I found that verse to be so amazing. My goal is to study hard, work hard, and pray hard that God can use me somehow according to his plan and that I may be able to help people. Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and all those other worldly rich people are well off and wealthy but what have they done? With all that money, there are so many great things that can be done yet. I need to continue to pray, continue to love God more and more and grow stronger in faith. I'm weak still but growing. Thought I'm constantly in a war against the world, I know that I have God on my side. God will always be there in my life no matter what and his love never changes. I'm constantly reminded of the love that God has shown us through Jesus Christ, his son. I have so much to learn and I know my life will turn out great. Lets pray everyday and never forget that God answer's prayers. The time will come when one day, God will answer your prayers so never stop, never give up.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18(ESV) Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."